New Creation memories

Since mid last year, my entries into the bible have steadily decreased, i think now it has stopped. Seems that my bible output has been drastically affected by my hearing input. i've lost the "listening revelation". How am i going to handle doing word next week?? im totally ill-prepared.

It just struck me how ppl from new creation - their websites are a little different from the rest. There is just something that shines out from the individual's website. Just by reading a few entries, the familarity sinks in and i know im reading a fellow new creationer's handywork. Some visitors unlike the regulars dont try to understand where Pastor Prince's msg stems from - regulars get his point. Visitors who only come once, misunderstands and makes a big hooha from their one visit. It just pisses me off- their one off !@#$ bias judgement. But im not to stand up for the chuch, nor does he need to stand up for himself. So ive kept quiet. And kept quiet again. And kept quiet again. Smiling always saying "really?" "oh i see." "ok." "haha." But feeling pain inside with each criticism that goes by without a single retort.
Blinking back each tear. Smiling becomes my mask. A very convenient facade.