I will never forget you ... my friend

It was a friend's wake yesterday. How could he have died? How could he? It was just last year that i was throwing tantrums at him, yelling at him, laughing with him, having lunch with him, chatting with him, annoying him, him annoying me, asking each other ridiculous questions and just .... even just sitting silently with him as we go about our own work. How i gloated because his laptop is firewalled and mine wasnt. How we rushed about from emergency room to emergency room collecting data. How we looked through piles of medical files. How i could guess what he bought me as a gift and the shocked look on his face. How i liked the pearl earrings and that he said he would have gotten me the more expensive one if he could have. How we knew we were mates that could just talk leisurely knowing we wont be hitting on each other anytime. How i would tease his vanity when he changes into contacts for clubbing. I could almost clearly recall urging him to go after a cute babe in the picture he sent me. And now... i couldnt believe it reading the news. I read the email so many times just to make sure i had read it right. I wished i had misunderstood. I wish i couldnt comprehend what it was trying to say. I wish he was still here.

I walked out of the lab this morning and sat on the bench under the tree. I tried to calm my nerves sipping on a cup of tea. i couldnt stop the silent tears slipping down my cheeks. i couldnt believe that things would be like this. I just came back from a wedding in s'pore and the next time i head back to s'pore i will be at a cemetry. How could he have gone? How could he?

Time still moved on and i had to face ppl at uni and at work and back at the house. I had to smile and talk - beneath that exterior...

i didnt even talk to you about church stuff and i knew you dabbled in tarot cards. I dont even know if you are saved and i didnt do anything about it. Useless. i didnt do anything. Useless.

I wrote a song for you; i hope you can hear it.

Life is full of fleeting memories
Laughing faces
Smiles light up our lips
I wish times like these would last through eternity
I wish things will always be the way it is
But suddenly
You had to leave

May the Lord bless you
And keep you by his side
May he hold you
And tell you everything will be alright
I will never forget you
I will never forget you
I will never forget you
My friend

I will never forget you
I will never forget you
I will never forget you
My friend